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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Hayden18/Male/United States Group :icontezuka-world: Tezuka-World
Tezuka Osamu World
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Deviant for 4 Years
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Statistics 138 Deviations 870 Comments 4,450 Pageviews

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i continue to feel the need to make vent posts, and now i guess i want to make one where no one who knows me super well will see it.

college is... not doing wonders for my mental health. like, classes are fine but everything else... nope. having a roommate in particular sucks bc, even though i love love love my roommate, my brain does this thing where i'm constantly terrified of being a bother, of hurting others, and it only lets up when i'm alone. add on to the fact that i feel awful if i can't magically make everyone happy all the time, even when other people have problems i'm powerless to solve, and i basically feel like a terrible person all the time. oh yeah, and intrusive thoughts. plenty of those.

i wish i had more friends here! i wish i had more people i could trust! but the people i love the most make me anxious, bc that's how my messed up brain works, i guess.

honestly, i've realized so much about myself being here, but the question now is, what do i do with that information? how can i help myself?
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Eating: waiting for a burger

deviantID

SmashingMelons
Hayden
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Trying to get back into using da a bit more, but you can find more of my work on my tumblr (see below).

I don't really plan on continuing my webcomic, but here it is:
www.drunkduck.com/Long_Convers…
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Comments


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:icontylscifur:
Tylscifur Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fav on my collection!
Reply
:iconsmashingmelons:
SmashingMelons Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you, too, for the fav!
Reply
:iconmousefart:
mousefart Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Your art style is adorable.
Reply
:iconsmashingmelons:
SmashingMelons Featured By Owner Edited Sep 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! Glad you like it. And thanks for the watch :)
Reply
:iconjohnxx26:
johnxx26 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014
Thanks for fav :)
Reply
:iconcaptinmendoza:
CaptinMendoza Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2013
Thanks for the watch and adding my work to your favorite.
Reply
:iconsmashingmelons:
SmashingMelons Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome! :)
Reply
:icondeath-g-reaper:
death-g-reaper Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I find it sad that your comic died a horrible death.
Reply
:iconsmashingmelons:
SmashingMelons Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh no, I'm really sorry! I didn't know anybody cared. . . I want to keep making comics but like I totally didn't know where I was going haha, and I started it when I was really young and I guess I just felt like I couldn't continue. TBH this account has died a horrible death. I've pretty much just been using tumblr since last year, so if I make any more comics, I'll probably post about it there: www.orewasaitei.tumblr.com
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:icondeath-g-reaper:
death-g-reaper Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Ah, I see. I liked long conversations about nothing.
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